I am trying to figure out how to get back to this... I have easily given in to Facebook as my primary mode of posting since going back to work FT. I do miss my pics here, and having the space to say more than a sentence, but it has been so nice to catch up with people on FB... all the way back to ele. school... amazing. Anyway, after Monday this week, I have the whole week off, so maybe I'll try to do a thing or two. Until then, if you haven't joined me on FB, please do... I'm easier to stay up with there.
I'm home today-- day off work, and doing some online searching for jobs for Andrew-- he's getting really good at sending out his resume-- well, I am, too (his resume, I mean).
Anyway... still not in the "light" mood I was talking about in my last post, but thought I'd pop in here anyway. I haven't re-capped anything in so long, I'm not sure where to start.
I'm sure I have lost of pics to add here-- of Halloween-- of Tyler playing basketball... His team won their first game, which was amazing! :) I have pics of Thomas dressed up as his book character this year. He was Backward Bill (from Shel Silverstein's A Light in the Attic)-- wore a boot on his head, a hat on his foot and we built him a horse, too.
The boys both got all A's on their report cards-- so proud of them!
Let's see... lots of reading still going on around here... and I've really gotten into Anne of Green Gables (movies)... I must be getting old, ha! Still loving my job-- it is so nice to be in a place that feels like a "fit"... there are some "hopeful" things there, too.
I won't post all the "heavy" stuff, but that is the light stuff.
And, I must post a song, too. Andrew and I have been chatting about some songs we want to do when our contemporary service begins (we are planning to lead worship), and this is one of my picks...
I've been gone so long from here, there should be cob webs. I just have not been able to get into blogging much lately... just dealing with things.
I read this book a couple of weeks ago, and one of the characters got to a point where she tried to decide how much something "weighed" before she would share it with someone. Sometimes things were just too heavy and so she kept them to herself because she thought the weight of them would turn people off-- or that it was just to heavy of a thing to put out there. I guess that is where I have been.
As soon as things feel lighter, I'll be back. And, at some point, I am going to change the layout here as I planned. Just not into it right now.
We are in the midst of making some decisions around here... and wondering how things are going to turn out. I have total faith in God to provide for our needs and want to fully trust that it is all for our good. It's rough right now with Andrew-- trying to build a business is a long process, and it's hard to make sure that you are financially covered during the process when you don't have any other means of income.
I do, but I am part-time right now, so I really honestly need more hours. And, I LOVE my job-- I would love it if it were full-time, too! :) I feel like I have found myself there, if that makes sense. I would love to go full-time there and I am already looking into grad programs for my Library Science license / master's... only time will tell. In the meantime, I am praying and really want it all to work out. I have truly felt God's grace through finding this job at the library-- something I have wanted to do for so long, and I feel like being there is a gift. There are so many ways to plug in my experiences in this job, and it just feels really good to do that.
Anyway, I have the day off tomorrow, so I am sure I will be cleaning-- this house NEEDS it. Thomas has piano camp this week for a few days, so we'll be driving him there and back, too. It's kind-of across thee county from here, so it takes a little chunk out of the day. I really want to do something for the kids' fall break, and we had talked about a movie, just gotta figure out how to make it fit with piano...
I know, I know... MIA... life, you know. Honestly, I got REALLY sucked into the Twilight Series of books and didn't come up for air for almost 2 weeks, finishing all 4 books in less than that time. I have read two more (short) books since Friday and it's just not the same, LOL. I miss my Bella and Edward. :( Laugh if you must, but wow, that was an amazing series of books!
Andrew's birthday was yesterday and we have just really been enjoying each other lately. I am truly so blessed to be married to my best friend. I think we get better together with age... which is a good thing, since he is now officially an old fart (I can say that for the next 3 months anyway). :)
The kids are on Fall break this week, so a little more sleep is ahead and I hope to finally get back up to speed here this week. I have a couple of days off during the week, too, since I will be working the weekend.
There are still some changes and unknown variables in our lives right now, and I've sort of not felt like writing about them, and as I mentioned, I have had my nose buried in some books. We're trying to figure out our next steps, not really seeing what will unfold yet, but trusting in the grace God always has for us.
I am also working on (writing) a book-- which might not even be finished for 20 years at this rate, but that is okay, I will get there. :)
Anyway, just ramblings for now, but will be back (with a new look here, I hope) later this week. Until then... have you heard this guy (Phil Wickham)? Just awesome... I **need** his CD.
I am still alive. Seriously. This place is so neglected... and dark... and I will get to the changes I said I was making here. I shot the photos and then got sidetracked, and well you know that means I ended up de-railed altogether, LOL.
Anyway, work is good and seems I have two jobs now... one for Andrew... I will explain all that soon. No time now. Off to work in a bit. Just wanted to pop in and wave my hands a little. I will return, seriously, I will. Lots to say and post, just been working on a bunch of little things that add up to a lot.
In the meantime, please go check out CrossGig again and let me know what you think. There's a lot more there now and specifically, let me know what you see at the top. We've been working on the size of the header and I am wondering what you see on your computer. My laptop is configured small and so I had to shrink some things for others. If you wouldn't mind, let me know what your computer shows you. :)
but loving the new job... been working on things with Andrew, too, so still haven't gotten to my new header, etc. here, but will. Just wanted to say I am around but scarce right now. More to update but wipeout is coming on and the boys await, LOL. Will be back soon with the rest...
He got one stamp on his paper instead of two because he colored something blue that was supposed to be black, LOL. Then, he got himself really upset (I think partially because he was embarrassed about his reaction), and I guess he must have been hyperventilating because he told the teacher he was having trouble breathing and that it must be his asthma and he is allergic to school (his asthma is mild and it doesn't impact his breathing-- he was using it). Poor baby. Andrew was still on his way home from dropping them off at school when the call came in from school, so I called him and he turned around to console him. It was hard for me not to go be Mommy, but I know he would have had another melt-down just for my benefit BECAUSE I am Mommy We both went back to pick them up at the end of the day, and of course he was totally fine. He is so hard on himself, and I am afraid, a little perfectionist like his mother is prone to be... I have been working on him not to be so hard on himself, and then this today... I told him that the number of stamps he has on his paper is not the point-- the point is that he tries his best. And, we talked about the fact that he is kindergarten to learn and that GOD is the only perfection there is or ever will be. He seems much better now.
See what modeled perfectionism can do to a kid? This just reinforces the fact that I need to continue to strive toward that Mary example I want and need to be for my kids. I know that I am more "Mary" these days, but it will take some time to change that in the eyes of those around me. Thank God for the lessons and reminders that He brings through our children!
but, I can't post it just yet... but, I will when I can. Gotta get the final details settled. I also have a lot of photos I want to post from the concert we went to on Friday. It was a really good concert and it was so nice to "get away" even just for an evening. We bought these tickets so long ago, it felt like it would never come, and now, it's over... but, it was so good!
Andrew is in Lex for a bit working. We're still in limbo a bit, but getting closer.
After I posted yesterday, I got a call for an interview at a library in the children's department... so, I am going today at 1:30. Then, 6 minutes later, I got a call from my previous school about the job I had mentioned. The timing had me all confused. But, I just feel like I need to go to the interview so that I can see clearly what God wants me to do. If the door is not open there, I will absolutely know that I should take the job at the school.
This has been a really stressful time with Andrew's company starting out, too... it is only through daily prayer-- really minute by minute that I have been able to stay sane at all, LOL. God is definitely with us and my faith and trust is being grown from all of this. I do admit that I would like to get off this rollercoaster we have been on, but I know God is using it for His purposes, and so I praise Him and am thankful for the grace He provides-- even in the smallest things, I am thankful. This is something that has not come easy for me, but wow, what a different person He is creating in me. That is not to say I don't have my moments, but with Him all things are possible, and I just can't let go of that... my tightened fist has been loosened with the rest and I am coming to love more and more that picture I have up there as my banner. My hand is open, not clinched tight on all the things in my life. My handful of things doesn't belong to me; it all and they all belong to God. My hand is wide open. When I took that picture, it wasn't-- not really. It was clinched tight, holding on to everything with all my might. My kids, my marriage, my career... even my relationship with Him (see the cross up there?)... I was holding tight trying to control it all.
Andrew and I listened to a sermon yesterday, and I couldn't help but cry when the pastor mentioned the story of Mary and Martha. During this season of my life, I have truly been blessed to become the Mary I have longed to be. I have my Martha moments, but I am truly sitting at His feet, listening for the first time in my life... my messy house is proof that I am not running around like a Martha anymore, LOL. :) Even though it has been difficult, wow-- what a gift He has given me! Who am I to deserve such a blessing? I don't deserve it, but He gives it to me anyway. That is grace. That is letting go. That is having an open hand.
Over time You’ve healed so much in me And I am living proof That although my darkest hour had come Your light could still shine through Though at times it’s just enough to cast A shadow on the wall Well I am grateful that You shined Your light on me at all
Who am I That You would love me so gently? Who am I That You would recognize my name? Lord, who am I That You would speak to me so softly? Conversation with the Love most high,.. Who am I?
Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I’m found Was blind but now I see And the more I sing that sweet old song The more I understand- That I do not comprehend this love That’s coming from Your hand…
Grace, grace God’s grace Grace that will pardon and cleanse within Grace, grace God’s grace Grace that is greater than all our sin…
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound Amazing love, now flowing down From hands and feet That were nailed to the tree Grace flows down and covers me… (REPEAT)
And covers me… And covers me… And covers me… And covers me… (REPEAT)
Who am I That You would love me so gently? Who am I That you would recognize my name? Lord who am I That You would speak to me so softly? Conversation with the Love most High… Who am I?
I went to orientation for subbing on Tuesday-- had a physical Monday (tweaking my meds again for one last shot to get the Neurontin to the right level-- if this doesn't work, we're changing it)-- had to have my TB test read yesterday... Thomas had his choir try-outs on Monday, too-- he made it! :) He had a little grin on his face when I picked them up on Tuesday, so I knew before he even opened his mouth. :) Andrew's been working on his new company and they are getting everything in place, so he's been really busy.
Then, yesterday, I also got a call from the school I just left. They had sort-of offered me a part-time job, but the hours, etc. didn't work out... yesterday, they offered me a few more hours, so I may end up doing it and stay on the sub list for the county for afternoon sub needs... the sub caller said there is a need for that. I also want to get my photography going and get back to writing, so having the afternoons free would be ideal if it works out. God has a plan and I am listening.
Anyway, a busy week in the rollercoater that is us these days... we'll see what today brings. :)
So, have you ever gotten someplace new-- to a new level of something God wanted you to see only to be knocked down to a new level two seconds later? That is what today was... bad day... and how quickly I gave in... so not right. God is still in charge and I am so not. I need to remember that that is not only OK, but exactly the way it should be. Sure, I'm sad but I am also disappointed in myself for forgetting even for a second that God is in control.
On another note, went for a follow up today at the doctor's and she says I have a hormonal imbalance... no big surprise there, but on the up side, my thyroid looks better. :) She also checked me for food allergies (still looking for the culprit of the twitching)...
So, that's what I know... God is so not through with me yet-- that is sure!
I have six job applications out all at once... and not just those really, but I am using this time "off" to work on my photography, too... and then there is one other possibility, but it is not on the "horizon" just yet exactly. It would be kind-of exciting I guess if I didn't need money, LOL. But, even with that thought, I know God has a plan. My part is not to worry. My part is to look for the open door. Thus, the six applications. :)
Meanwhile, I'm cleaning house (and I mean CLEANING house-- it's a huge mess right now, but it's because we are purging-- it will be great when it is done), getting the kis ready for school (one orientation yesterday and another tomorrow), looking for open doors, working on photography stuff (at last) and continuing to read, read, read.
As an aside... I don't know if you're out there, but I'm wondering how my anonymous poster is doing... if you're out there, please let me know. :)
is the first day with Andrew working from home. We set up his office last night-- I would post pictures, but he hasn't showered and he's working, LOL. And, in my opinion, it's not *totally* done yet-- still some rubbish to clean out, but his desks are set up and his almost 700 CD's are on the shelf...
I am going to pick up my paperwork for subbing for the local school system today. I have already been OK'ed at my recent school and our church's preschool / kindergarten. I just can't help but think that there is a reason some other thing hasn't come through yet... and I am really looking forward to taking the kids to school on the first day! We are still waiting for the teacher letters and the notification about open enrollment to come. I called the school last Friday-- think I will give them another call in a minute.
So, that's today. Trying to take it one day at a time, which is hard for me, but God has really been working on this with me. I just finished an incredible book I will have to post about next time.
**Note: this has been edited for the sake of self-control**
And now, I am going to release all bitterness and move on. God is in control; no one but God, and I am removing the yuck in me through this purge post to allow Him to steer me.
Thomas went to "piano camp" for 3 days this week (at the house of my band teacher from middle school-- I have known this woman since I was 11 years old! That was cool enough in itself!) He almost made it through a whole book-- so proud of him-- this was his first experience with piano lessons, and he did so well! He practiced every day on his own, without me telling him to-- he WANTED to.
This one i call, "Crazy person playing the keyboard"... it was his little impression all week long as he practiced at home on this little keyboard we have).
He also had a serious side while practicing...
We have wanted to get him a piano for YEARS... and every time we hear there is someone who wants to give one a way, we somehow just miss it... we try to get there, only it's always just a few minutes behind someone else who ends up getting it. We checked into a piano a few weeks ago, but it was $300 and with me not working in the summer and Andrew's current situation, we just couldn't do it.
So, yesterday, when I picked Thomas up from his last day at camp, Mrs. Ashcraft, the teacher, mentioned to another lady who had her grand-daughters at the camp (they are visiting from another state), that there was a piano at the Habitat Re-Store... apparently Mrs. Ashcraft had volunteered there that morning and saw it. She said it was "playable" and that it had been there a long time and they only wanted $50 for it, but she thought they would take less. My mouth flew open-- I guess she forgot that I had told her that we had been looking for a piano and kept just missing out. I think it hit her when I gasped, and the other lady then asked where the store was, but then also said that she'd have to ship it to North Carolina with the girls (kind-of tongue-in-cheek, so I wasn't sure if she was considering looking at it or not). The lady then didn't seem to be overly interested and we all left. I decided to go look at it (secretly, really feeling like this must be our piano), and I figured if the lady showed up at the store, it might just not be for us. She never showed up, I talked the guy into taking $40. There are two keys in the highest register that stick (we can get them fixed sometime), but the piano is not terribly out of tune and it is really pretty-- a little spinet Wurlitzer. There was a ton of music in the bench, so we also got a bunch of music, and apparently, this was a church piano because there are a bunch of church bulletins with notes-- that made it super cool to us! There are even a few music theory teaching things-- some flashcards for practicing what key something is in-- stuff like that. This TOTALLY all made it feel like this piano was meant for us. And, it was.
Thanks to my dad and his truck, we got it here safely (the guy told me to get that price, I needed to take it THAT day-- this was at 4 and they closed at 5-- Andrew was too far away at work to make it in time)... so... it wasn't easy-- very heavy and on a hot day on top of all of it, but after all that, YAY... this little baby is now ours... at last...
that I have a lot of pictures-- I mean a lot-- that I haven't posted... I was looking at pictures of King's Island and realized that I still have the Zoo and then a couple of our fishing trips and some from last night. Andrew took pictures of our trip to the county fair, too-- so I have sort-of a summer re-cap to do. I went ahead and started editing some, but didn't get finished, and I think we are taking the kids to the indoor pool in a few, so I will get them all up at once later or tomorrow.
I have some thoughts and observations swirling around in my head, too I would like to get out in words, so I will plan on a long post or two coming soon. Gotta go finish the last day of staycation first. :)
Stomach virus-- food poisoning or something, not sure, but I thought I was going to die last night. I was literally up all night long. It has taken me until almost 5pm now after sleeping most of the day away to sit up and use the computer. I'm using Andrew's-- he took the boys fishing and hiking, not sure when they will be back. I am thinking maybe it's not a good idea to eat at an amusement park, and then I honestly thought maybe it was even the iodine test I had yesterday, but I called the dr. and the guy on call said he didn't think that would cause it. Anyway-- really hoping it won't hit anyone else in the house-- especially while Andrew is home on vacation.
Hopefully, they will be home in a bit and "tomorrow is another day- fiddle-dee-dee"... so maybe we can get back on track. I feel like when I am off track, the whole house is off track. Hopefully I get some pics up tomorrow. :)
