feeling confused

Have you seen those commercials-- I think it is actually for car insurance quotes-- where the people are in a big red dot on the floor-- they describe some what-seems-to-be-hopeless situation and say "I am so there"? Let me check real quick and see if I can find one...

Ah, yes... here we go... this one is perfect.



So, this is where I am with, it seems, everything right now. Right on the red dot. I don't know if I am exactly fighting this fibro diagnosis, or just questioning it or what, but all I know is that this medication I am taking me is knocking me out, messing with my memory, making me dizzy (in the strongest sense of the word), and still doesn't seem to be working... so, I am doubting it and even the diagnosis. I went online and asked advice and opinions-- and everyone seems to be screaming, "YES! You have FMS!", but all I know is that I want to stop twitching-- I have to stop twitching, and this stuff so far ain't doing it... and I'm still tired (even MORE so), muscles are tired and hurting, the whole thing... I am trying to hold out-- to give it time, but the side effects don't seem to be getting any better yet. And, then I find myself wondering, can I function this way when schools goes back?? Esepcially if I end up with a whole lot more kids in my class, a longer day, Tyler in school (with possible homework added to Thomas') and Andrew's job changing?? Everything I read about fibro. says you need to simplify your life and adjust your life TO finbromyalgia... exactly how am I supposed to do that?

I have been looking for a yoga class-- can't find one that I can make it to, so we visited the local county fitness center yesterday. They have an awesome indoor pool, a walking track, weight and fitness rooms and offer classes-- no beginner yoga right now though as I can find. I'm not paid again until the end of August, so joining as a family is out for now, but I'm thinking about taking the kids once a week for summer as a "drop in"-- or maybe going as a family on the weekends. But I can't do even the cycle or walking track if the kids are with me, so that leaves the pool... is that enough? (I can't swim, so it would be walking in the pool essentially.)

I'm sorry, I know I said I wanted to get back to posting something other than "health-related" posts, but as you can see, I am totally on this red dot and feel like I can't get my questions answered. (I will try to post some pics from the county fair next time if I can figure out how to get them from Andrew's phone-- we went yesterday-- it was way exhausting, but the kids had so, so much fun). I think I am going to try and make an appointment with my GP as a "follow-up" sort of thing to the rheumatologist appointment and my diagnosis. I have put that off a bit I think mostly because of his previous involvement with the school where I teach and not wanting to give off any preconceived notions at school, but I'm going to just have to bite the bullet and do it. I can't stay on this red dot forever, and I feel like I have been there already for years with NO answers. Now, I have some and I'm just confused by them.

L