today

is the first day with Andrew working from home. We set up his office last night-- I would post pictures, but he hasn't showered and he's working, LOL. And, in my opinion, it's not *totally* done yet-- still some rubbish to clean out, but his desks are set up and his almost 700 CD's are on the shelf...

I am going to pick up my paperwork for subbing for the local school system today. I have already been OK'ed at my recent school and our church's preschool / kindergarten. I just can't help but think that there is a reason some other thing hasn't come through yet... and I am really looking forward to taking the kids to school on the first day! We are still waiting for the teacher letters and the notification about open enrollment to come. I called the school last Friday-- think I will give them another call in a minute.

So, that's today. Trying to take it one day at a time, which is hard for me, but God has really been working on this with me. I just finished an incredible book I will have to post about next time.

Until then,
L

Six on 7.24.08

This was our annual "first thing in the morning" birthday picture.

I finally got the pictures off the camera from Tyler's birthday. We had a bug party-- we were actually going to have a "bug man" come, but it didn't work out, so we did it ourselves...

We had a bug hunt (plastic bugs-- everyone got a plastic bug box with net and tweezers)...











We wrapped each other up like butterflies in cocoons...







We had cake-- okay, cupcakes-- and they were homemade, Pokemon cupcakes, not quite fitting of the bug theme, but that was what he wanted. :)





And, he gots lots of super cool presents-- those were all "action shots" and pretty blurry, LOL.

So, my baby is six and going to kindergarten in something like 10 days... and this is him, bugs and Pokemon. :) We love him.

L

purging (and ranting) edited version

**Note: this has been edited for the sake of self-control**

And now, I am going to release all bitterness and move on. God is in control; no one but God, and I am removing the yuck in me through this purge post to allow Him to steer me.

Carry on...
L

changes are happening around here

Yes, I changed my blog template again. I like the brown, but not sure if I like the 2 columns as opposed to the three I had before. I might look around a little bit more. It's kind-of a pain in the butt to keep changing all the sidebar stuff every time though, so I'll have to think on it.

My blog template is not, by far, the biggest change happening around here right now though. It has indeed been a pivotal week... Andrew will begin working from home (for now) sometime next week on this new venture he has been working on. When it is officially unveiled, I will feel more at liberty to discuss it, but for now, that is all I shall say. It is hard for both of us to believe that it seems to be working out, but that is God for you. Please keep praying though as this is all still in the beginning phases and we need God's hand guiding every step.

Secondly, and this may be somewhat shocking, don't know, but I decided not to go back to teaching full-time this school year. I have been back and forth-- praying, reading, listening... and for a long time, I think God has been trying to get me to take a step of faith. And, so, I did. I made phone calls and put it in writing on Friday. My plan for now is to substitute teach until I find something part-time with hours that will be the best for the kids. I have so little energy to start with (because of FMS and thyroid) and I just could not imagine trying to work all day, bring home work with me and still have energy for my own kids. As I mentioned the other day, the book I have been reading by Andy Stanley has really made it clear to me how important my family is to me and trying to work so much leaves none of me left for them. At the end of a day that long, I just collapse. So, I listened to God and took the step of faith that He has been leading me to take. And, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God will honor and bless that.

One thing that makes me feel bad though is that the other kindergarten teacher decided the same thing apparently... the day before me... and I had no idea! While I feel badly about the fact that they will have to start all over with kindergarten, I know that I made the right decision, and I know that God has a plan for me that won't steer me away from my kids. I am so looking forward to volunteering at school, going on field trips and being in touch with what is going on in Thomas and Tyler's school lives. I have felt so detached from Thomas' school for so long, and I really feel like he has suffered because of it-- overlooked permission slips, lost yearbook forms, getting behind on learning his times-tables, missed extra-curricular stuff, etc. And with Tyler going off to "big school" with him this year, it would just be awful. This is truly a much healthier situation for all of us.

So, I'm looking for a part-time job. If you know of anything let me know. :) So far, I've got some things out for library jobs and a part-time state job... but I would love a chance to write again... and I'm hoping to hone my photography skills, too. :)

So, that's what's going on here... it feels good to say it out loud finally. Please keep us in your prayers through these changes, though. It is exciting and yet scary... but I know God has something great in store.

Blessings,
Lynn

the day after today (7/23/08)

is Tyler's 6th Birthday-- unreal! He is so excited and informed me tonight that he is no longer silly, as he is turning 6 tomorrow. I love the big ball of dirt so much-- he is sooooo all boy-- and that just makes him the perfect fit; you know?

Also, tomorrow is the big day of hopefully getting to some answers on the "what are we doing?" end of our lives. BIG prayers are needed-- for answers, for direction, for Andrew, for God's blessing, for us just to know *what* we need to do. If you think about it at around 11am EST, a little prayer for Andrew would be MUCH appreciated-- okay, a big prayer. I think I am under-selling the need just a bit, but please just know we need your prayers tomorrow if you read this.

Good night, God bless you.

L

watching, waiting, praying (7/22/08)

This *feels* like a pivotal week. A lot of decisions will be made this week, and I am trying to stay centered on who is in control. I am reading a book by Andy Stanley, Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins when Family and Work Collide. It is not what it sounds like-- it is about making choices that don't cheat your family. It's really speaking to me and I felt like it was something God led me to read-- straight to where it sat on the shelf at the library. I'll post more about it when I am finished reading it, but if you want to check it out, follow that link up there on the book title.

Thursday is Tyler's birthday, and tomorrow is my nephew's, so we have spent the first part of the day today picking up things for the party, and a gift for my nephew-- and now, I need to go clean up the kitchen-- ugh... I am sure I will have pics to post later this week. I need to get back to my camera somehow... somehow.... I need to get back to a lot of things.

Anyway, continued prayers especially for Andrew on Thursday (the day of his meeting)...

Peace and simplicity to everyone reading,
L

a devtional from a church nearby

Someone sent this to me, and I thought it was a great thing for me to read and to share.

This is a devotional from Southland Christian Church, a church (somewhat) nearby that we have visited and used to watch on TV on Sundays, when we went to church on Saturday night. I know this will speak to others as it has to me this morning.

James 1:5–6

I have a really good friend who is a new Christ-follower. It's so amazing to watch her grow, learn and discover her faith. When she first gave her life to Jesus she was in awe; everything was new. One afternoon we were talking about some of her not-so-great choices before surrendering to Jesus. She made a statement that had a profound impact on my walk with the Lord. She said, "When you know Jesus, there are no other options."

Since that day, when faced with a decision, I am reminded of her words. Jesus is my only option. He will give me everything I need. It takes the guesswork out of all the choices, decisions, and situations I face in my life. I am no longer in the sea of doubt—being tossed about between what if and if only.

Think about how much peace we have if we make Jesus our only option. The Holy Spirit will guide us and we won't have to maneuver through all the worldly options we hide in our hearts. My heart overflows at the thought.

There are still days when worldly options get in the way of my Jesus option. Sometimes Jesus doesn't work as fast as I would like and sometimes His option isn't necessarily what I would like. But I have learned He is always looking out for me and His way is always best—I have no doubt. Believing this truth, I have less confusion and more faith and trust in Him. Will you make Jesus your only option?

· Why do you hang on to some of the options of this world?

· Do you believe that, if you ask, God will give you what you need?

Written by Amy Leffler

at last (7/17/08)

Thomas went to "piano camp" for 3 days this week (at the house of my band teacher from middle school-- I have known this woman since I was 11 years old! That was cool enough in itself!) He almost made it through a whole book-- so proud of him-- this was his first experience with piano lessons, and he did so well! He practiced every day on his own, without me telling him to-- he WANTED to.

This one i call, "Crazy person playing the keyboard"... it was his little impression all week long as he practiced at home on this little keyboard we have).


He also had a serious side while practicing...




We have wanted to get him a piano for YEARS... and every time we hear there is someone who wants to give one a way, we somehow just miss it... we try to get there, only it's always just a few minutes behind someone else who ends up getting it. We checked into a piano a few weeks ago, but it was $300 and with me not working in the summer and Andrew's current situation, we just couldn't do it.

So, yesterday, when I picked Thomas up from his last day at camp, Mrs. Ashcraft, the teacher, mentioned to another lady who had her grand-daughters at the camp (they are visiting from another state), that there was a piano at the Habitat Re-Store... apparently Mrs. Ashcraft had volunteered there that morning and saw it. She said it was "playable" and that it had been there a long time and they only wanted $50 for it, but she thought they would take less. My mouth flew open-- I guess she forgot that I had told her that we had been looking for a piano and kept just missing out. I think it hit her when I gasped, and the other lady then asked where the store was, but then also said that she'd have to ship it to North Carolina with the girls (kind-of tongue-in-cheek, so I wasn't sure if she was considering looking at it or not). The lady then didn't seem to be overly interested and we all left. I decided to go look at it (secretly, really feeling like this must be our piano), and I figured if the lady showed up at the store, it might just not be for us. She never showed up, I talked the guy into taking $40. There are two keys in the highest register that stick (we can get them fixed sometime), but the piano is not terribly out of tune and it is really pretty-- a little spinet Wurlitzer. There was a ton of music in the bench, so we also got a bunch of music, and apparently, this was a church piano because there are a bunch of church bulletins with notes-- that made it super cool to us! There are even a few music theory teaching things-- some flashcards for practicing what key something is in-- stuff like that. This TOTALLY all made it feel like this piano was meant for us. And, it was.

Thanks to my dad and his truck, we got it here safely (the guy told me to get that price, I needed to take it THAT day-- this was at 4 and they closed at 5-- Andrew was too far away at work to make it in time)... so... it wasn't easy-- very heavy and on a hot day on top of all of it, but after all that, YAY... this little baby is now ours... at last...



Lynn

looking for open doors

I am just really trying to watch for God's lead in my life and so by doing that, I am trying to keep my eyes open for open doors, closed doors, etc. I have taken this time during summer to search myself, to pray, to look, to listen. The combination of the summer break, the boys both being in the same school (not mine) this coming school year, my health "revelations" and various other things, has me pondering about whether I am capable of "doing it all" this coming school year... and if I am actually called to that. Physically, spiritually and emotionally, I don't know if I can-- I don't know if I should. So, in that spirit, I have just been trying to keep my eyes open for possibilities... ways that I might simplify-- ways that I can be healthier than I have been-- and still with the knowledge that we have to have money to buy food, pay bills, etc. Working 14+ hours a day, and then in turn, not being able to keep up with my own children, and always collapsing at the end of every day is definitely not the picture of a healthy mom. Not to mention being a wife, trying to be a friend to others, keeping the bills paid and the house clean, food on the table, etc., etc.

Being here this summer has really just made me ponder what I am really capable of, and what sacrifices I make-- and of those, how many of those are actually sacrifices that God calls me to make. Being a mom is hard-- doing the right things for my kids is hard, but I know God calls me to be a mom, and I love being a mom. With my decreased energy and stamina (for lack of a better word), how can I be the best mom I can when I am at constant battle with the other person I have to be when I am working 14 hour days? I'm not at all trying to control this situation-- I really have changed so much in that area-- just trying to seek what God wants me to do.

I guess this post is mostly just a "thinking out loud" post, as I am seeking to make changes, but it's also a "me getting honest" post... I need to openly do that from time to time. :) With the thyroid stuff and the fibromyalgia, I now can see *why* I have been so spent. I used to tell Andrew before (before the FMS diagnosis, and all the ways that God has worked on me through this) that I felt like a loser-- that I couldn't seem to "do, do, do" all the things that other moms / women "do, do, do"... and now that I understand WHY I can't, I guess I am trying to "embrace" it and make changes-- to have more energy for the things that really are the most important in this life that God has given us.

SO... all that to say that I am looking to simplify; to make changes where I can, and if anyone has any suggestions or can point me in the direction of working, but still being the mom I should be, I am wide open. And, if you are willing to share, please do-- and if you are willing to pray for me-- that I can clearly see what God wants me to do to make the best decisions for my family and for my health, I would so very much appreciate it. And know that I will pray for you, too.

Lynn

ETA: Major prayer request for Andrew and his job, too.... they are waiting on hearing about a grant that they REALLY need to get for Andrew to continue his work... I won't go into the specifics, but this is something that is VERY important. They have a meeting coming up next week... this is also something that will determine what choices we have as a family. I know that it is in God's hands, and this will likely reveal our next steps, so in reality *this* is what I most need prayer for. :)

OK, pictures at last (7/14/08)

So this is a re-cap of some of our summer thus far (not all, just some)...

Tyler seeing his very FIRST giraffe in person at the Louisville Zoo.


Petting the goat...


Acting like the goat...


The REAL deal...


NOT the REAL deal, but a cute photo...


This gorilla (can you even see him?) was SCARY.... The monkeys across from him were apparently tormenting him since he was totally alone in his area. He was creepy, sitting there, looking out of the corner of his eyes, and then all of a sudden he would take off running and run right into the glass where we were standing, with his mouth open, teeth flaring. I thought it was me or maybe the boys beating their chests at him, until I realized that he was just trying to get to the monkeys across the way behind us. Still, he was scary!


Thomas & Tyler in a fake "FedEX crate" at the small gorilla cage.


How Thomas stacks up to the gorilla...


And, Tyler...


They DON'T like to move it, move it... Lazy lemurs!


Iron Man at the zoo... cool. Not sure what the "5" thing is?? A wave? I don't know, but he did it every time.


Just one of Thomas hanging out. My boy is growing up too fast. He probably won't pose for too many more like this for me.


OK, this is funny NOW, not so much THEN. Tyler was determined he was going to ride this inflatable water slide-- a couple of stories high... because, of course, Thomas did it. Thomas gets up there and slides right down, leaving Tyler sitting there looking down the slide. Of course, he doesn't go. We spend the next 20 minutes or so trying to coax him down; he won't come. We convince the high school girls who were working there to let Thomas go down again (without paying) to get Tyler to come down. Finally, he does and of course says he wants to go again. Um, no... not until you're 30 and I don't have to try and get you down from someplace I knew you wouldn't come down from... oiy!


Moving on...

King's Island...

Their expressions as we approach the gate. Poor babies have never been anywhere so exciting; can you tell? These are REAL expressions... they were beside themselves!


Who lives in a pineapple at King's Island?


Tyler with Patrick...


This was the coolest ride... we all rode it actually. It was sooooo relaxing after all the walking. It was the Danny Phantom ride-- it made you feel like you were flying. This time, I thought Tyler was going to take a nap, LOL.


Just to give you an idea of the "flight". I was so surprised with Tyler that he rode this, but not as surprised at this as I was when he rode the Stunt Coaster! Sorry, no pictures of that-- my eyes were closed the whole time... OH MY... and that wasn't even the most of it. Thomas rode a bunch of coasters-- including the Crypt, which hung him suspended upside-down-- Andrew rode that one with him needless to say.


My cutie, Ty on the mini-bumper cars before we realized he was tall enough for the real thing. The first time on these, it took him forever to figure out how to GO, LOL.


Tyler, smiling at his opponent... he doesn't quite get that you are not supposed to be so nice to your fellow drivers in the bumper cars. :)


We always end any event on the carousel (when there is one)... this is a blurred pic on purpose... if you look in one of the mirrors, you can see Thomas.


Waiting for the fireworks with Mom... it's nice to have a picture of me with the boys... even if I look like I am about to die (I was... whew!)


La Tour Eiffel... well, kind-of...


Moving along... a fishing trip...

Andrew TRYING to teach Tyler to use his grandfather's old bamboo pole.


Thomas takes his fishing pretty seriously. He didn't catch anything on this trip, but he did during another trip to the river with my parents. I'll add his "fish tale" picture later... I still have to save it and re-size it (Mom, did you get that picture from Andrew?)


Daddy and cheesy-smile boy...


I took this one during the fishing trip... is it the sky or the reflection on the water? Hmmm... can you tell?


If you've made it this far, wow! That is only a portion of the pics-- I take too many, LOL... but now, I finally feel caught up with my picture posting here. :)

Tomorrow,
Lynn

ETA: What's up with the spacing on this thing anyway?

Ophthalmic (Eye) Migraines (7/14/08)

I am seriously going to get those pictures up, really, I am, lol, but we have just had a busy week with Andrew home on vacation and I have gotten seriously sidetracked by a few things already this morning.

I feel like I am having a series of "aha" moments... it is such a strange, strange feeling. I feel like I have spent the last three years (plus) looking for a multitude of answers, and they are one by one being revealed. I don't know what to do with that exactly, and admittedly, I still have some really big "?" hanging over my future-- our future... but it is just a strange, strange thing when you finally see something for the first time.

This is one of those things...





This is EXACTLY what I see when I have one of these little vision "episodes"... the first one was almost three years ago now. I have searched and searched on what this could have been all this time, and have always mentioned it to every doctor I have ever been to... no one EVER even MENTIONED this as a possibility. It is apparently called a Ophthalmic, or Eye, Migraine. Apparently, you can have them without headaches and it is caused by a a temporary spasm in the blood vessels behind your eye (this is apparently also called "vasospasm", which is like the spasms or cramps that you have in your leg muscles, etc.).

Those pictures up there are from this site (click). You can also read more here.

Now, how does this couple with my other "complications"? I don't know. But, at least I know *what* it is now. Why are doctor's paid so much, again? I'm sorry for the snarky comment, but hello? Shouldn't someone have known what this was somewhere along the way? If not all the physicians I have seen in the last 3 years, then why not the eye doctor I went to at the very beginning of these? Anyway, all of this to say, educate yourself on your own health-- be in charge of your own medical care, and don't just take for granted that there is no answer. There is.

OK-- I'll work on those pictures now. :)

Lynn

I just realized (7/11/08)

that I have a lot of pictures-- I mean a lot-- that I haven't posted... I was looking at pictures of King's Island and realized that I still have the Zoo and then a couple of our fishing trips and some from last night. Andrew took pictures of our trip to the county fair, too-- so I have sort-of a summer re-cap to do. I went ahead and started editing some, but didn't get finished, and I think we are taking the kids to the indoor pool in a few, so I will get them all up at once later or tomorrow.

I have some thoughts and observations swirling around in my head, too I would like to get out in words, so I will plan on a long post or two coming soon. Gotta go finish the last day of staycation first. :)

Lynn

ugh

Stomach virus-- food poisoning or something, not sure, but I thought I was going to die last night. I was literally up all night long. It has taken me until almost 5pm now after sleeping most of the day away to sit up and use the computer. I'm using Andrew's-- he took the boys fishing and hiking, not sure when they will be back. I am thinking maybe it's not a good idea to eat at an amusement park, and then I honestly thought maybe it was even the iodine test I had yesterday, but I called the dr. and the guy on call said he didn't think that would cause it. Anyway-- really hoping it won't hit anyone else in the house-- especially while Andrew is home on vacation.

Hopefully, they will be home in a bit and "tomorrow is another day- fiddle-dee-dee"... so maybe we can get back on track. I feel like when I am off track, the whole house is off track. Hopefully I get some pics up tomorrow. :)

Lynn

random (7/7/08)

It's been a few days and my world has changed, well, my world is "in flux", shall we say. I'm waiting on dinner to beep at me, so I thought I would just post some random things while I wait.

1. We took the kids to King's Island yesterday-- they had a BLAST-- me-- I am super tired today, but so, so, so enjoyed my family yesterday. We never "get away" and just do something for the sake of doing it-- that was how it felt yesterday-- kind-of a "free" feeling. The food, etc.-- definitely NOT "free", but we conserved. Can you believe a bottle of water (or coke or anything liquid) was $3.50?!?! I have tons of pictures to post-- will do that tomorrow. Thomas rode some big roller coasters, and Tyler actually got on some, too. Fun, fun day-- my favorite in a long, long time. Today, we crashed.


2. After the late night back from King's Island, I had an appointment with the integrative doctor to follow up since the Fibromyalgia diagnosis from the rheumatologist. I have been concerned about the low thyroid... tomorrow, I start Armour Thyroid. She wants me to have my hormone levels checked in late August, and to have an ultrasound of my thyroid (to look for nodules), if I don't see any improvements from taking the Thyroid. I'm a little nervous about that and am both nervous and anxious to see if the Armour Thyroid will make any difference.

3. Andrew is home for vacation all week this week. He got some "unsettling" news last week before the holiday, and we are in deep prayer about it. I don't really want to go into the specifics too much here, but we are in prayer and if you stumble on this post, I would truly appreciate some prayer warriors for Andrew and his work.

4. I am in the thinking and searching-- and waiting process on the direction of my life and what is the best thing for my family. I have a sense of "not knowing" that I have never had before-- I sort of feel like God has me "out of the loop" for a reason and that all will be revealed in His time. I know people say that all the time, but this is the first time I have truly had that sense. It's comforting, which is a strange thing for a type-A to say, I know... I think God is changing me. Maybe I am becoming an A-minus. :)

Okay, beeper in 2 minutes. I might change my little template here again later, I don't know... still pondering...

Until later,
Lynn

if you haven't seen this... (7/3/08)

you need to. Arnel Pineda is the new lead singer of Journey... anyone who lived through the 80's knows who Journey is. This guy is amazing! We bought Andrew the new CD with the new lead man (for Father's Day) after we saw this story on the news. He is truly, truly amazing... Equal to this guy's amazing voice is his amazing story. If you want to be inspired, watch this... seriously. The whole thing-- to the end. I know it's long, but you won't be sorry.




Lynn

so... what do ya think? (7/3/08)

Way easier to read... still lots of work to do, but this color-scheme is fitting my mood. I started working on this yesterday, but wasn't "feeling it" with what I was trying, so I quit for the night.

I woke up this morning feeling like it was time to make some changes-- not referring here to the blog, but to life. I've actually just finished reading a book (a fiction book-- gasp!)-- for enjoyment (double gasp!)... and, I am now reading a book about reconfiguring things *around* having Fibromyalgia. I've been trying to do some things for the sake of relaxation, and it's really been making me reflect on what my energy is worth... I have even started yoga (triple gasp!). I've been looking at all the things I have been doing, and asking myself what is *worth* my energy. It's sort of like shopping and trying to get the best deal... All I know is that to feel my best-- if I am going to BE my best-- then some changes are going to have to come. At this point, right now, today, I know I can't make any final decisions, but, I woke up feeling it today-- like some changes are on their way-- some good ones... so I have hope.

As for this space-- I like these colors swirling on the page. So, there you go... a little change already. ;)

Lynn

forgive my mess

Just playing with my background colors a bit... the black and white has been getting my eyes... not sure about chocolate? Hm... we'll see.

L

ETA: aw, forget it for now... it is what it is.

Lightbulb!

I have been reading and reading and reading, and digging and digging and digging for a week since my FMS diagnosis. First off, that is just how I handle stuff- I want to understand things... but, also, I just have not been able to "settle" into this diagnosis. Mostly, I think because I am still having this crazy twitching and I do not like taking the neurontin-- it just seems to be masking things under this stooper it puts me in. Then, I have been pondering the low thyroid thing and posted on a FMS board about all of my symptoms-- someone posted that I should really look into the thyroid connection, and since I had already been thinking about that, it just spurred me on more...

Then, I found this...




Lightbulb!!! What if my FMS and twitches and everything is from my low thyroid level? I am taking a natural thyroid "booster" right now, but it's not an actual thyroid "supplement" and it doesn't seem to be helping... SO, I jumped on the phone and called my integrative dr. that put me on the booster (and found the low T3 count) and I have an appointment at 9 on Monday! WOW-- if this turns out to be what's been going on... this might be the answer to everything.

L