The soundtrack of my life...

So, you know by now how much I love music... I've been appreciating it a lot more lately and thanks in part to my dh... and DSL (lol) have been finding lots of music that exists out there that I might not have found other wise.

Today is the day I usually post my music finds. And, in keeping with that schedule, this post will still have a few of them. ;) But, I have also been pondering "life" a lot lately and where I am right now. With all the health stuff happening when it has, it has been really difficult for me to find joy in a lot of things. {With pre-apologies for whining... I'm going to be totally transparent with this post here, too...}

I am not in a really "good" place at the moment. And I know, I gotta kick my own butt a little to figure that stuff out. The fatigue-factor wears on a person, but when you get to the point that it wears on your happy thoughts, too, it's time to figure out a way to force yourself to make some new happy thoughts. I'd like to say that scrapbooking still does that for me, but I have not scrapped in months. My room remains unoccupied-- except for the stuff that lays in wait... I just cannot get myself to do it. I have re-discovered the joy of taking photos, but still, I just cannot get my mind to be excited by it completely because it takes so much physical energy at this point. I am, in essence, stuck... and when you put all your eggs in one basket-- ie a dr. helping me to be un-fatigued (sorry for the cliche and improper grammar), well, you just stay stuck... and now it's going to be June before I *might* be able to see a dr. who can finally unlock the mystery of the fatigue...

So, in the middle of all those thoughts, I found a U2 video/song that-- gasp!-- I have never heard before (ie a music find-- see I told ya I'd get them in here;)) that says it all pretty darn well...



OK... moving on then...

Like I said before, there is some good music out there that you miss if you're not looking... I guess these guys have been around a while by the looks of it, but I had never heard of them. Granted, this is a punk band-- and I most likely would not have stumbled upon them, but Andrew played a song for me last night that as he put it is a good scrapbooking song. :) When you go to their myspace page, click on One Day, Six Months and you'll get it. :)

And one more... this one I found all on my own... Wait until Andrew sees the upright bass! LOVE the sound, the words... going on my soundtrack I think.



OH... and their myspace is here.

So, anyway... forgive the total introspective nature of this post if it seemed too cryptic to follow... but still... enjoy the music! :)

L

I've got a headache THIS BIG...

... okay, maybe it's a backache, too... okay, so maybe it's also a footache... okay, seriously, the whole body... I was having a productive afternoon when I got back from picking up Thomas from school-- despite the headache, etc. I already have dinner in the crockpot (Jerk chicken sandwiches-- yum!); loaded the dishwasher; folded laundry and put it away and put in another load... even got the dog out (productively-- KWIM?). Then, I was just about done with everything before homework with Thomas-- was just putting some dirty clothes in the basket in my kiddos' bathroom when the stinkin' dog tripped me. Now, if I had hit the top and toes of a normal foot, that would have hurt enough, but... as you know, not a normal foot to be had here.... OWWWWWWW! "Dog-gone" it! LOL-- at least I can laugh...

Anyway, I was looking for that old excedrin commercial to put up, but couldn't find the right version of it, but I did find this cool site with old stuff you might find interesting... including old commercials. Very cool... you should check it out :)

So, before the dog got on my list, I was going to post a cute pic of him from yesterday... guess I'll go ahead and do it anyway. ;) I see some photoshopping in its future, but you get the idea.



We actually even put batteries in just to freak him out with some barking--lol... that was pretty funny. I couldn't get any good action shots, he just moves too fast, but just picture it-- he soooo enjoyed "chasing" a puppy that he could catch... even though it is plastic. :)

On the referral front... gasp! I have an appointment with a rheumatologist at last! Um, yeah, it's in JUNE! Gasp again! But at least I have one finally... just takes so long because of where it is... a really good area hospital. But, I just don't want to waste anymore time going to the wrong person, so I shall try to get from here to there somehow.

More stuff to write about, but I have to save something for later... think I need a sugar-free icecream sandwich now. :)

L

Mahna Mahna & more...

My kiddos LOVE this old Muppets clip... they have seen it a million times and still laugh hysterically every time they see it. I love that.



Was absent here yesterday... I. am. tired. Very, in fact. Sitting here is a big deal at this point. I have done too much. Just paying for it is all. I even went back to sleep a bit on the couch this morning after getting Thomas and Andrew off... something I NEVER do. I love doing "normal" stuff, but then I often pay for behaving "normal" later. Drives me nuts-- I so want to do the normal stuff, ya know... got a lot of normal housework stuff to do today in fact... ugh... Still waiting for my referral to the rheumatologist to go through... I'll get there. Got some results back, some good news and still some confusion-- nothing new really.

On a very bright note :).... I am an aunt again-- YAY!!!!!-- to a beautiful little girl born yesterday-- what an angel!

In her honor... Welcome to the world, baby girl. :)

again, ignore the subtitles. :)


L

I'm on a roll...

These are from the 35 mm... promise... done for now. :)

A few more...

Thanks to my hams and no school today for the sweet 16 (go Cards!). ;)

Just for fun... with the point & shoot... 35 mm getting developed today.

Just practicing with some backdrops...

more to come, I'm sure. :)

L

This week's music finds: ACK! Look what I found!!!!

Forever Thursday has a music video for How can it Be? (their song from the JC Penney commercial) now!!! Cool!



On other music fronts...

My dh wanted me to check out this group... so I did... funny thing is, I checked them out already last week--lol... does he know me or what? ;) Anyway, I didn't post their link before, so here it is. They have a really unique sound-- go check them out.

There is another group I stumbled on at the same time, and they are KY girls... will keep digging and post if I can find it again! This is why we bookmark things; huh?

ETA: LOL... okay this is why I was confused... apparently, they are the same group... LOL! :) The "Louisville" thing is throwing me... anyway, they are good. :)

L

Remember this game?

Note: Today, I feel like I'm the pink marbles rolling around on the board... 'nuff said?

Anyway... while trying to find a good pic of that game, I found a few other pics of things from my childhood-- thought I'd share a few. Some still exist in other forms... others I have never seen again. Anybody else remember any of these things?


I actually still have this "picture" Barbie record... anyone else? I did some digging and found one for $30! I am so old!

I LOVED my Casper board game like this one! I would play it all alone-- even with half of the pieces missing! lol



It was Colonel Mustard in the Kitchen with the rope... anyone else have this edition of Clue? They still have it, but boy it looks different now... the people on the new box are wayyyyy too attractive to be murderers. ;)


OK, my brother technically owned this game-- it took me forever to think of the name of it to search for a picture online! I just thought the spinning light was way too cool back then... I never did know how to play.



And this... is My Friend Mandy. This was the last doll I remember owning. She was so pretty with her little hat, tights, pink dress and blond hair. Dolls just are not the same anymore these days... and even if they were, there'd still be none in this house full o' boys... sigh...



Memory Lane has been fun. Might have to do that again... that ended up being a good stress reliever. :)

Off to run bath water.

Night,
L

seasons change

I can't decide...

if this is me:
<---that's a guinea pig, ya'll

OR

if this is me:


Was still waiting for a call about my tests and so I called the I.D. dr. I went to just to make sure she was sending notes and results to my GP... after lots more confusion, I was told that some of my test results were actually in, but not all of them and the chick on the phone couldn't tell me for certain which were which... ACK! I am so completely worn out with this! And the I.D. dr. suggests that I go to a rheumatologist (which I agree with) AND also get a 2nd opinion on the neuropathy from an orthopedic specialist as well! ACK again!

Meanwhile... I have developed a lump in the vein in my leg behind my knee. Don't know if it is a varicose vein OR a clot... so... off to the dr. I go again this evening. I am TRULY TRULY tired of this! I want to feel normal... I want to take walks... I want to have energy to do ALL my housework... I don't really even care about eating sugar anymore... but, all those other little things... the things that are life... I just want them back.

OK... whine over... oiy!
L

The revival of the minolta and the addition of his brother... the rebel

I posted last week about my poor 35 mm Minolta Maxxum that died...
I tried and tried to get it to work, changed batteries, removed the film, put in new film, checked the flash, removed the lens... the flash made an awful buzzing sound and the film wouldn't advance. It wouldn't let me snap anything...

So...

Over the weekend, Andrew talked me into getting a new camera with part of our tax money (the Christmas present I never got-- we didn't give each other gifts in Dec. and decided to wait). So, I got my gift in March... a 35 mm Canon Rebel SLR. Granted, it was a lot cheaper than a digital SLR-- and granted it was my Christmas present-- and granted, it was tax money. But I almost threw up... spending money on myself... I just don't do that. But, once I got over the nausea, I decided I was pretty excited. This camera has a lot more options than my Minolta did and I am already having fun learning how to use it.

Then... I was snapping pictures last night with my new rebel, without a cause, {insert knee slap here} and all of a sudden, the flash started buzzing similarly to what the Minolta had done... first thought I had was that this was not a good thing. But, the camera was still snapping pictures. So, I played with my focus a bit and came into a lighter room, and the flash worked fine.

Anyway, long story short, I had a couple of revelations from the trouble with the Canon, so I started playing around with the Minolta and got it to the point that it would snap without the flash-- but it was still giving me an error message. It wasn't until this morning that it hit me that I should try one more time to put some more film in the Minolta and try one more time without the flash on. When I opened the film compartment, I noticed that the shutter was messed up... oh my goodness! So, I carefully got some tweezers, moved the shutters back into place, and guess what? It seems to be working! For now anyway... I don't want to get my hopes up... but... it would be awesome to have 2 to chose from since they have different lenses, etc. :) Especially if I get more serious about photography... I could totally get into that. And, for now with all my health stuff, it's a good diversion...

So... for now...

So happy together...

Vive Le Difference!

Today, we went to a birthday party for one of my nephews. There are six kids on this side of the family, and all the age of 9 and under... one 9; one 7 1/2; one 6; one 5 1/2; one 4 1/2 and one who is now 2... always a fun but noisy affair when we're together. Today, I was thinking about how different they all are, and yet because they are all so close in age, they are often compared... I think it's something inevitable with kids so close in age in any family... but I also think it is really important to be careful and let them be themselves-- without any comparisons.

My two kiddos are night and day from one another.


They have the same parents, same gender, same on the surface "interests", but totally different insides. I think that's good. And, I am realizing more and more as they get older how important it is to allow them that difference-- to celebrate it. They are them. And that is just right.

A few things I hate to admit I like...

In the need of a fun post...

Here are a few things I hate to admit I like... feel free to play along. :)


Barry Manilow (and hey, in honor of Dancing with the Stars starting up, I changed my clip :) )-- in particular this song-- always makes me think of being a kid. One of my sorority sisters in college also did a great rendition of the Copa. :)

My brown crocs (actually Komodos from Shoe Carnival)... they're just so ugly-- but comfort wins!


The movie Xanadu... I always wanted to skate like Olivia Newton John.


I still watch one soap (or really just listen to it while I'm busy doing something else)... All My Children

If I could find it on TV, I'd still watch...
The Greatest American Hero
{I still have the theme song on 45!}

Still love...
Grease 2


I still think this is the best scene from any movie ever (minus the subtitles of course--lol)


I don't *mind* bluegrass music all that much... okay-- this might not be real bluegrass, but the Soggy Bottom Brothers are cool.

And... *IF* I could actually still eat sugar... I'd probably still even like these awful things, too...


L

My camera died. :(

Not my digital point and shoot (thanks goodness!), but my big 35mm minolta maxxum with lens. :( I was just planning on re-learning how to use it, tried it last week and thought it was just the batteries, but alas... it is dead. The flash opens, buzzes (zzzz-t) and the shutter doesn't click, nor does the film advance. I was all set to to get into the whole thing, but crud... this stinks! {Can you see my lip sticking out?} Sigh... I even had Kodak 800 speed film already loaded, too... I hate to take it out and waste it, but maybe as a last-stitch effort, I'll try another roll of cheaper film... any other suggestions?

Poor, pitiful me

Just one {music find}

K... not feeling great so going to lie down, but wanted to pass this one along-- promised some music today. This CD was just released in the US 2 days ago. He has a great soulful voice. Check him out here

Enjoy...



L

Posting from the other side...

...of my big doctor's appointment.

I don't have all the answers yet, but I do feel a little relieved... the Infectious Diseases dr. feels that the Aspergillus Niger results were most likely contaminated results from the lab (apparently, it is a common lab contaminant). I called the GP's office today to see if there were any notes from the lab about the culture and the nurse didn't see any about where the Aspergillus was found on the culture plate... and it's most likely too late to find out now if it was not noted earlier, but I am still waiting to talk with my GP again. If that is true, that means two things... the good: I don't have Aspergillus Niger; the bad: we still don't know what is causing my infection symptoms.

However... the I.D. dr. ran more bloodwork for C Reactive Protein and several other things. The CRP test shows inflammation levels in the body-- so this would point out possible RA, vasculitis, ongoing purpura, etc. This could finally get us somewhere. It could take up to another 4 weeks to get the results, but this is at least the right direction. She also feels I should see a rheumatologist. As far as the neuropathy in my foot-- the shots, surgery, whatever has to wait until we know what is going on for sure. At least the inserts in my shoes are helping for now.

In other realms of life... we have gone from weather in the 70s to the 40s... and it is gray... really gray. Emeril (our dog) is not a happy camper.

He has gotten spoiled with the pretty weather and he is stuck indoors, poor pup... he's just like a pouting kid. Only difference-- something you can't appreciate from the pics-- his non-stop whimpering. He just wants me to turn the sun on and make it warm... not too much to ask; huh?

Gotta list of things to try to do today and at least remembered to put the chicken in the crockpot this time--lol. If I have time, I hope to add some music finds later...

Thanks for continued prayers! If I can lift any for you-- don't hesitate to ask!
L

The water is wide... we both shall row

So, I'm trying to get over myself... just having a lot of anxiety about my dr.'s appointment tomorrow. I've had thousands of them it feels like in the last few months, but this one should get me some answers... something I have been wanting for months, but now I'm scared about getting them. Silly, I know. Anyway, if you know me, then you know that music has always been important around here... it's always been a part of getting me through worry, too. Today, a song popped into my head. I was thinking about how God has always gotten me through the things that my human eyes have seen as way too big... I searched and searched for a version with the right lyrics, but just couldn't find one. I did find this one by James Taylor (whom I love)-- but just replace the "my love" with "my Lord" and you've got the right picture. :)



For something visually beautiful...



I took this out my back door yesterday... we were just talking with the kids about how there is evidence of God in everything around us. The beauty of the sky painted by God's hands-- how awesome! I kinda dig the time change because I get to see it! :)

And... lastly, a fun song that is always a big help in times of worry. ;)



P&PT much appreciated tomorrow @ 10:00 am!
L

Monday

Bluck... it must be Monday... icky day...

Time to watch something funny... found this a few days ago... who knew chickens were so good at busting up fights?



L

May the force be with you

Thomas had the pinewood derby today. He didn't get a trophy, but he loved his car-- a Lego Star Wars car... complete with Yoda, black paint and glitter for the star effect. :) It was lots of fun and we all loved his car, which we all decided was what really mattered the most anyway. This being his second year with this, the heartbreak of not getting a trophy was not nearly as big of a deal. He is growing up so fast! So proud of him!

A bundle of nerves

This pretty much sums me up right now...



You gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. :)

L

This week's music

After I did the post last week, I thought it would be fun to do a post on music finds once a week. So, here's this week's.

An apparently old song by the Goo Goo Dolls I never heard... very cool sound:

An older "feel good" song I found the video for... I LOVE the Counting Crows! Makes me think of when we were first married/in college... this one is a little later, but you can't listen to it without wanting to dance.

Hanginaround Video

Hanginaround lyrics - Counting Crows lyrics

Counting Crows Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

I have always loved Jamiroquai... this one reminds me of college, too.



And now for a couple of "new" finds... check these artists out on My Space:

Priscilla Ahn

Scott Phillips


L

Things I know...

1. We're finally moving in the right direction to get somewhere with all these tests and cultures, referrals, et al-- I got a call this morning and I (finally!) have an appointment with the infectious diseases dr. on the 14th (next Wednesday). Please send up happy thoughts and prayers if you don't mind. :)

2. When your road is closed because the culvert gave way and the road could have collapsed if they hadn't closed it to fix it without any notice to anyone until the day of, and you live out in the "country", and have to take a detour that takes at least 10 extra minutes down a narrow road that you hate to drive and hate even more to turn off of onto your road (left) because you can't see a darn thing coming, you should actually plan on the drive home taking you 30 extra minutes because you are guaranteed to get behind a tractor whose driver refuses to get over and let the 15 cars and school bus behind him go around!

3. When you plan on making dinner in the crockpot, you should actually put it in the crockpot and turn it on.

4. When you are just getting used to wearing prescription orthodics, you should listen to the podiatrist and break them in slowly.

5. When you start giving chores to your 4 year old, you should call them "responsibilities" because it is too darn cute to hear them call them "asponsibilities". :)

6. Now is the time to get off here and start dinner since I didn't pay attention to number 3 on my list earlier...

More later. :)

L

What a difference a day can make

I am holding out hope that this is not a temporary thing... I think the meds just might be working!!!! I feel more like myself today than I have for months... seriously! YAY! I am a tad bit nauseated and still have that underlying tiredness, but compared to what I have been feeling, this is so much better! Still waiting for the call-back on the next referral, but I hope this is a good sign.:) Keep your fingers crossed for me!

In honor of feeling better, here's a happy song from Dave Matthews (my favorite of his)... come and dance with me. :)

You know that old saying...

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all... well, thus explains my silence here so far today. I don't have any unkind words, just no good ones either... just not feeling up to snuff and in the middle of more questions, worries, etc.

I will say that I got my $400... (yes, that is $400, folks) orthotics today... thank goodness for insurance or I'd have to pay all of that! Sheesh! $200 per foot! Still getting used to them... will have to let you know...

I guess I can go ahead and share a little cool news, too... for those of you who also love the song on the JC Penney commercial-- I mentioned the singer in another post a few days ago... She is Melanie Horsnell from Australia. Well, after *I* did the investigating to find out who that fabulous voice belonged to (only giving credit where it is due, dear--lol ;)) my dh has a CD on the way for Youth Roots Radio-- I cannot wait to hear it... totally excited about it! She rocks! :) Go check her out if you haven't!

On another note: countdown to Dancing with the Stars... 14 days from today!

Guess I did find something nice to say afterall. :)

L

Hoppin' John

Takin' it easy today while dh is singing/playing at church. We go on Saturday nights as a family-- LOVE that... never thought I would, but it is sooooo nice for our family to be able to just take it easy on Sundays. Only time Andrew isn't here on Sunday mornings is on the Sundays his band is scheduled to play-- so it's 3/4 Sundays we're all home... very nice.

So, because he's been up since 6:15 this morning and went running, I put some Hoppin' John in the crockpot-- YUM! Honestly, it wore me out, but the smell is so worth it! lol This is my all-time favorite recipe, so thought I'd share it... you have really got to try this one-- it is awesome! :)

Hoppin' John with Smoked Pork Chops

Ingreds:
4 smoked pork chops (I use more)
2 (15 oz) cans of black-eyed peas, drained
1 green bell pepper
2 cloves of garlic, minced (from jar works fine :-))
1 onion, chopped
1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
3 T brown sugar (I use splenda)
2 T ketchup
1 jalapeno pepper (again, jar works fine :-))
salt & pepper to taste

Combine all in crockpot, cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or high 3-4. Serve with rice.

Enjoy!
L

My first day MIA

I know I have already added this to the bottom of my sidebar down there, but I love this song and just wanted to start off with something happy. This is such a beautiful song-- I think I have come to the conclusion that I kinda dig Hawaiian music. :)



Yesterday was the first day since I started this that I haven't posted. I was honestly just too worn out to bring myself to do it. Which I hate-- I was going for a record.

OK... on with it then... the good, the bad and the still unknown...

So, I saw my GP yesterday at last. He prescribed Itraconazole instead of the Vfend I was so worried about. I'm okay with that. Not nearly as much to worry about with this one. My insurance didn't want to cover it to start, but they argued until they did. It's a good thing, too-- good grief that is one expensive med! (gasp!) He answered what questions he could, which was good. Apparently, he is as stumped as I am-- this is just not something they have ever dealt with and I knew that. So, because of that, my GP is sending me to the infectious diseases people. That was a pretty big shock to hear initially, but then he explained that this med. could very possibly take care of it if it is the main problem we are dealing with, but that he wanted to take every precaution to understand everything we are dealing with since this is a highly unusual thing to find in this kind of culture. {Boy, was that a run-on sentence?!?! LOL But-- you get the point...} I appreciate him being thorough. I do though still think we need to be searching for the immune system answer-- I don't know exactly what they will do at "infectious diseases", but I am pretty sure at this point that RA is likely the culprit that is allowing all of these other things to "invade".

As for the neuropathy, I have my follow up first thing Monday morning, and have been advised by the GP that I should hold off on the steroid shots for now until we have a definitive answer from the I.D. people. At least I'll be getting the orthodics and MRI results then anyway.

I am soooooooo ready to be done with all of this. I am so ready to smile. :) I know I am suppose to be giving praise and find joy in all circumstances, but I have been struggling with that a lot. Thus, the song up there... if you have any other joyful things to share, I am wide open!

L

Another appointment, kids & pets

Got a call last night from the NP-- the dr. never called. They have phoned-in a very strong prescription-- VFend... scary stuff with a long list of drug interactions. It's intended for people who have compromised immune systems and have systemic infections. So, I called to have a follow up in person with the GP tomorrow. I need to understand this. Luckily, my follow-up with the podiatrist isn't until Monday. So, yet another doctor's appointment added to the calendar...

Meanwhile, without whining too much more about all of this (growing tired of hearing my own thoughts), I have tingling / numb hands now-- to match my feet-- and did not sleep well last night on top of it. I'm sure the worry is not helping anything. We have a chance of strong storms tonight, too-- right about the time the kiddos go to bed-- ugh! I hate storms!

OK, time for something happy...

Emeril, our doggie, turned one yesterday. So hard to believe! Where has the time gone? Isn't he cute?




















I made the mistake of saying in front of Thomas yesterday that our cat, Frankie (aka "Boozie") is getting old. So, last night, he went to spend some time with Boozie in my bedroom and was in there a long time. When Tyler went to find him, I could hear Thomas crying and he said, "I'm having a little moment." He was crying about Boozie dying one day... oh, he gets me right in the heart-- this child with his old sensitive soul. And Tyler comforted him, rubbing his back and telling him it would be okay. They know just what to say; don't they?

Note: cats are MUCH harder to take pictures of--lol. They like to be in control of every situation. :)