okay

Well, that's done. Saw the neurologist-- not the best beside manner I've ever seen, and apparently he has it in for immunologists-- sheesh! He said he was not going to "get into arguments with immunologists anymore"-- so sorry I made him go through that. I was a little ticked about it after the appt., but now that some time has passed, um I'm really ticked about it! I'm so sorry if he can't come to terms with a specific type of dr., but this is MY LIFE, dude-- seriously! ANYWAY... he has me back on neurontin and according to him, "the bad news is"... I'll have to stay on it. AND, whatever it is that is going on with me will not have (in his words), a "resolution". It has been his experience with people that have complications similar to mine that these things do not get "healed". We will look for what is causing them, but whatever it is, I was "born with", and it's not going to get "resolved". We can treat the symptoms, but the underlying cause is always going to be there. Now, why did he feel the need to say that in that manner? Could be lost in translation (he is Austrian-- no offense if you are-- don't mean it that way, he just had a different way of saying things that what I am used)-- or is he just cranky and hates immunologists so he's taking it out on me? I don't know, but it made me sad all day. He said it was "the right thing" to seek out the cause, but ultimately, it will not lead to a resolution where it will all go away.

I said before, I don't have to feel "GREAT", I just want to feel normal... is that too much to ask, I mean really? I don't think I am looking for a "solution", just a way to feel better... and now, I am TOTALLY confused, because he says the "T-cell deficiency" is basically a bogus "catch all" term and should have never been used. He said that of course t-cells are always part of the picture when you have re-current yeast infections and that the term "t-cell deficiency" should never have been used. So what does all that mean?

Not sure I know for sure yet, but he referred me to another rheumatologist to get a 2nd opinion about RA, etc. Does that mean it is or isn't an autoimmune problem? Don't know. He is having me come back in June to do a muscle / nerve conduction test before I go see the rheumatologist. He took 10 vials of blood and is testing me for Celiac and my CK count (to do with muscle-firing or something like that). And, I'm back on the neurontin. Sigh...

So, I have a follow-up with the Integrative chick in May (guess I will find out the rest of those results then). Oh, and he did say that a vitamin-D deficiency can cause muscle twitches... interesting... meanwhile, if you have an autoimmune issue and you take a vitamin D supplement in the wrong dose, it can complicate matters, so here I sit on that one.

The frustration continues... I explained it to someone tis way... it's like someone is sitting on your shoulder making the most annoying sound you can think of without stopping for months right in your ear. It eats at you until you want to scream-- that's the best way I know how to explain this. And, I am supposed to think there's no solution... no thanks... I'm betting on the fact that there is. Like I said, I don't have to feel "great"; good will do.

L