today & tomorrow

Today, we had a field trip to an art center and a play. We ate paper sack lunches indoors because it was so cold, but other than that, it was good. It was long and I am beat, but the kids were really pretty good and the play was cute. :) The stairs got me and I felt to be about 80... pretty tired of that.

Tomorrow, I have my neuro. appointment. Kind of nervous. It's such a strange thing to feel like you don't want them to find something, but then again you want them to find something. After everything, I just can't go on another wild goose chase. I also can't stand the thought of this being something really scary. It's a catch-22. I just want to feel like a normal 35 year old-- I don't have to feel "great" all the time, just "normal" would be just fine. I sat there at the play today and noticed that both of my hands were twitching, then my feet. When it's NOT happening, I try to talk myself into believing that it's just been my imagination or something, but then when it is happening, that is hard to do. And then the "voodoo" like pain-- you can't ignore that when it happens. It's very much like my body is just attacking itself or trying to "throw something out" (for lack of a better description).

Anyway... hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, I will be closer to understanding tomorrow than I am today.

L