feeling

frustrated, under-appreciated, like crap in general. I know I am not the only one to ever feel this way- I know others can definitely identify, but that is where I am at the moment. It's not just that I am physically feeling like crap, but that leads me to feeling useless and then the things that I DO do, I feel are not good enough... for me or anyone else. I don't know if it is just me putting that pressure on myself and it's just built up over time or what. But, Thomas has even been shall we say less than appreciative of my efforts. This is my "thoughtful" kid. So it makes me wonder if maybe I just suck at everything right now.

Andrew came home to a messy house since I was sick while he was gone, and I have been very sensitive to little comments here and there. Thomas complained while Andrew was gone because he didn't get to do some things because "Daddy wasn't home" AND I was sick, so he really hurt my feelings with a couple of comments ha made about not getting to do some things. The house is still a mess because we had the pinewood waste of time yesterday, which has me further upset. They judged the council race TOTALLY differently than they did the pack and district and so Thomas didn't even place with his awesome car. He tried really hard not to, but he cried. IT broke. my. heart. And now that HE is okay with it, I'm kinda mad because they judged it differently, and we just KNEW he was going to at least place for design.

Today, I HAVE to clean, we HAVE to get the recyclables out of here and I HAVE to get my planning done. There's not enough weekend. And, I HURT again. Um, yeah, you might say I'm in a valley today. Sigh... and I shouldn't be on here, got lunch beeping at me on the oven timer... I need a good day in the sun... Off to the beeping for now.

L