falling apart

Do you ever have one of those days where everything you have put on hold or not allowed yourself to think about or haven't had TIME to think about seems to come crashing down around you? You know, when you;ve been going through life status quo and all of a sudden you have a day where it feels like you are suddenly forced to deal with EVERYTHING all at once? Today felt that way to me. It's been an emotional week at work this week, still in the middle of medical quandaries, and yes, to exasperate things, I am also hormonal. We're already dealing with things for next year at work, and there are a lot of changes, problems, etc. ahead, so just some stressful stuff to think about there. I've been drifting around since last week (since starting the neurontin back) and so I asked yesterday when I called for my results if I could go back to the whole dose at night again, and I have the go ahead, so I went all day today without it. Much more awake, but more twitching, tingling, etc. And, when I got to school this morning, I hit my head first thing-- and hard-- jarred my teeth, LOL. Just such a Monday kind of day.

Then, Thomas gives me his progress report (I have to finish mine tonight to go home tomorrow, on top of Mother's Day gifts I have to finish up on for school), and he has a "D"-- yes, a "D" in MATH-- what?!?!?! I know, this is just a progress reoprt, but they JUST started sending home actual grades and I am floored by this-- the kid is so good in math! And, no explanation other than the list of grades-- so I'm trying not to react in front of him, but I am seriously floored. Then we get to his homework and he is now working on fractions-- less than / greater than... okay, but they don't have the same denominator, he doesn't know what that term means and they aren't doing division yet... huh? How is he supposed to understand what he is doing? SO, I didn't get my stuff pulled together for school tomorrow, just trying to help him understand it... another teacher came over and tried to help out, the other K teacher and I had a long talk and by the time I got out of there, it was 5:00-- my stuff for tomorrow is not ready, my mother's day recipes aren't typed and my progress reports aren't done. Not a good ending to a not good day. That's how all of life hit me all at once.

We are too busy to see how things aren't working most days and then it all just falls right on your head. We need to reconfigure how homework is done and checked, Thomas needs more help-- more attention. I can't get stuff done, so I bring it home, the house is a mess, Thomas needs help with homework, we eat out too much, the laundry needs to be folded, the dog walked, lunches to make for tomorrow, progress reports, cookbooks to type, and here I sit. I just had to get it all off my chest... but there has GOT to be a better system... sigh...

L